Archive | September 26, 2013

Interviewing Tom Conrad ~ You’re gonna love him!

Beverly and Tamara: Welcome to SSLY Tom. Thanks so much for joining us today. So first why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?

Beverly and Tamara, first of all, a big THANKS to you both for having me (at least “having me” in a manner of speaking). Secondly, a little bit about me… well, I’m a Londoner with half-Cockney and half-Irish ancestry. This means I do a mean jig whilst charming eels from the river Thames.
Actually, my father informs me I am NOT a true Cockney – just as it was once again becoming semi-fashionable to be one.

Tamara: *laughing* What do you HAVE to have when you are writing?


Beverly: When did you start to write?


Beverly: *rolls her eyes* Can you describe your favorite character? And which of your books is he/she in? How do you come up with your characters?

My favorite of my characters is Midnight Merlot. He appears in my debut novel Rich Pickings for Ravens. However, I’m here to promote my new novel, and so I’m going to backtrack/lie and say Beatrice Cherry: she appears in That Coxom & Blondage Affair.

Basically, Beatrice is very plucky, quirky and full of charming principles. She’s the kind of girl I’d love to have a pint with, but perhaps not a date. I’d say I based her on various women I’ve met over the years, but heavily exaggerated certain characteristics. Beatrice can be very feisty, a bit bolshie, but basically she’s a sweet, likeable and fun character.

Tamara: What are the hardest scenes for you to write? Suspense? Sex? Dialogue? And why?

I’ll start by saying I find sex scenes easiest to write. I write from the cock, and I guess my todger becomes my barometer of right/wrong. It somewhat leads the way; determining what is hot and what is not, and is possibly the one and only time it’s acceptable for a man to follow “that” part of his anatomy over his head.

The hardest scenes are probably suspense: keeping a reader’s interest right up until that breathless moment of climax can be very, very… hard?

Beverly: *snorts* oops! Sorry, please go on!

Tamara: *shaking her head* Who is you ideal woman, real or fictional?

A hard question, but I’ll take a “real” woman over a “fictional” one anytime. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to meet her. Of course, I am naively optimistic she’s out there. She’d certainly have to have opinions on “stuff”, be witty, feisty, caring, loyal, passionate and open minded. Obviously, a nice rack and peachy bum wouldn’t go amiss either (sorry, any ultra-feminists – I am joking, sort of).

Beverly: LOL! Have you seen the book covers we enjoy? What is the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Or would like to? What? We are all about the love!

I’d have to say it happened when I was twenty-one. I’d been dating a much older woman. Let’s call her Jane. Well… I’d been staying at Jane’s apartment when she had two friends visit her. It was midday. No one was drunk; only sunshine poured through the bay windows, which I think made what happened even kinkier for me – the naughtiness of daytime shenanigans and being stone cold sober; enough to fully appreciate every moment. Anyway, her friend’s had been teasing her when I left the room: I heard one of them joke about my age and comment on my little arse. When I came back into the room they all went silent. Jane just looked at me somewhat measured but intense. She was a very confident and open-minded woman – professional, sophisticated and well-off. She told me her friends “fancied” me. One friend was very mumsy with great big heavy tits; a pair I couldn’t stop attempting to catch glimpses of and imagine sucking on. The other who I’d thought was a bit standoff-ish/prim and proper laughed when Jane asked me if I fancied her.

Finally, Jane asked me if I wanted to undress for them. I went blush red, so did her friends, and yet Jane asked again. I knew she was completely serious. I went instantly hard at the thought. Jane could tell I wanted to have their eyes on me, to stand there before them and have them study my body and meat and… and well, you’re probably fed up of this, yes?

Beverly: Well, and did you? Aw, c’mon! *grumbles under breath* We never hear the good stuff!

Tamara: What are your favorite types of heroines? Do you like the damsel in distress who needs saving or the kick-ass variety?

Beatrice Cherry is certainly kick-ass. In fact my character Alice Phoenix, in Rich Pickings for Ravens, is too, although I’m also a realist: sometimes women need saving… sometimes men do too.

Beverly: What was your worst date ever?

My new ebook is about internet dating and I’ve had some shocking dates. I’ll be writing more about my dating experiences soon.

Tamara: If you were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you want to have with you? (You have food, water, shelter; all the necessities, so nothing mundane.)

My white board. I use it to plot out my stories. In fact, the idea of retreating to an island kind of appeals to me: I’d have peace and quiet and a real chance to finish my trilogy.
My favorite white shirt with little pink Cadillacs on it.
A king-size bed. I’d sleep… a lot.

Tamara: What can we expect for you in 2013?

Always, the unexpected! Also a few more titles: one short story, hopefully two or three novellas concerning dating, and, if my planned trip to South America goes ahead, a romantic and “serious” novel early in 2014. I think the “serious” novel could do great things.

Tamara and Beverly: Okay. We are SSLY so I have to ask. Who loves you?

I’m all out of love. Running on empty, and yet I remain naively optimistic I’ll meet that special gal sometime soon. I hope so anyway!

Now for some quick fun questions:

Bikini’s or thong? I love a woman’s bum in a thong. Big or small… cheeks separated by that slither of material; well, all ladies’ bums look good in a thong.
Coffee or Tea? Tea (I’m English, don’t cha know).
Blonde, brunette or red-head? One of each?
Tits or ass? You may as well ask me water or food.
Chocolate or Vanilla? It’s going over her nipples so I’d say it’s the lady’s choice.
Kinky or Sweet? Sweet turning into kinky, real fast.
Fast or slow? Slow. Slow. Fast. Fast. Sloooow. Fast. FAST… FAST!
Public or private? Private with the public.
Top or bottom? Is this a variation of tits vs. ass?!

Thank you, ladies, for asking such great questions; and for everyone choosing to read and share this interview. Can we make it go viral? 

We’ll do our best Tom! Thank you so much for joining us!

Coxom & Blondage AffairThat Coxom & Blondage Affair
by Tom Conrad

Cox•om [cok-suhm] adjective (of a man) full-cocked.

Blond•age [blon-dij] noun (of a blond) one who likes kinky goings-on.

That Coxom & Blondage Affair follows the picaresque adventures of Frankie Drake as he navigates the precarious world of Internet dating.

In fact, down on his luck Frankie, having been so cruelly betrayed by his past lover: that semicolon bitch, now, in this all new and standalone novel, looks to move on with his little life. Of course, moving on with your little life is far easier said than done, and how exactly do you pull yourself together when you’ve been so cruelly betrayed; especially, by someone you thought you loved.

That Coxom & Blondage Affair an alternative romantic comedy exploring love, lust and the kingly quality of trust!

Please note:

One: this work lightly parodies Fifty Shades of Grey. Fans of “that” book may read these pages/screens through gritted teeth. Of course, you may instead simply appreciate the tongue-in-cheek humour and absolutely love it 😉

Two: also, as intimated above, That Coxom and Blondage Affair heavily references another of my shorter stories: That Semicolon Bitch Had To Die…?!;), and yet this self-contained affair is very much a standalone work, and certainly can be read as an independent story.

Buy That Coxom & Blondage Affair on Amazon:

Born. Wrote many an ebook (continually delighted people actually read them)… Not dead yet!

Rich Pickings for Ravens is my debut novel (romantic, humorous… with ghosts). It is priced at £1.99. The sequel is a work in progress.
That Coxom & Blondage Affair is my 2nd full-length novel (rom-com/Internet dating the alternative way). It is also priced at £1.99.
Short stories and novellas: My shorter stories and novellas are currently £0.99 pence or $0.99 cents in America. They include Risk of Infection, That Semicolon Bitch Had To Die…?!;), The Finite Chimps, The First Cocktail in London and An American Detective in London.

You can like, follow or contact me in a variety of ways but here are a quick few:
Facebook page:
Twitter: @tomconrad1980
Contact me direct: